"A disposable helping machine"

salam and peace to all ...

tomorow will be the presentation .. im supposed to present what iv done in the past 4 months .... ayaaaaa ... i dont know from where il start and how will i conclude it ...

it has been a wonderful time .. specially when you get an office at the 16th floor of a building where you can read as much as you like without a single fly interfering ... no people, no noise , no garbage, no feelings, no idiots, nothing ... just you and your materials ... i guess i will miss the office here ...

Iv just read different blogs, the bad news .. iv known these people for a long time .. by faces .. not by names .. so i browse through these blogs .. and get the feeling i never knew these people ...

so many examples ... like the blog of many of my so-called class mates ... whom i never even knew their names ... although we meet at corridors all week ... anyway .. who cares laaa ...

and even if you i do care to know ... it will be a disapointment that i get ... its really hard to get into people these days .. they have different excuses to "dispose" you ... even the basic behaviour that we expect from a muslim or a normal human being does not exist in many from whom iv known ... and i mean saying "Alslam alikum" .. plainly .. not "Alslam alikum wa rahmatullah , how are you today" ... i just want you to tell me : "alslam alikum" ... how hard is that damn it!!!! .... not even a smile do you get from people you see for 3 years ... but anyway .. it was good to know that they are expressing themselves somewhere ... with othe people ... and i mean on the net ...

its the last semseter .. and there is no hope of changing anything at our study place .. i was happier anyway ... its really bad to know or feel that you never existed in a place although you were there for about 3 years ... and im glad i ended it those 3 years ... not more ... my friends were the books and my CPU ... plus my digital musical instruments :) ... who wants a better life than that! .. and who can forget the sincere engineering students who made my life better at a university "level" .. although im from the computer science department ... i have to admit that most and i mean propably all of my friends are from other faculties and departments .. a really unusual situation made possible ...

usually in every department there are groups who will stay together .... not in department i was at ... i dont believe it myself!!!!

no matter how nice you become and how helpful you be ... you will be treated like any other disposable item ...

we shouldnt be saying this in a university level by the way ... maybe im too emotional ... but the truth .. there is no feeling of friendship or wahatsoever ... its all based on "If you have what i need then you will give me what i need and you will be disposed later" ..

its all based need-n-benefit ...

its either you are from a specific category .. or you have what they need ... even with all that you might fit ...

what a waste of time for me .. and they told that in a university , you will understand things better ... yah i understood .. i understood many things ... negative and positive about humans ... butit was a waste of time ... as i wished that i will meet someone who will respect as a person .. not as a helping machine ... or maybe .. "A disposable helping machine" ..


__________________________________walslam___________________________